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Two Left Feet

Written by Iver P. Cooper

 

January, 1635

Mac Washaw had thought that after all this time as Mike Stearns' Chief of Staff, that nothing would surprise him.

And then Federico Ballarino, Princess Kristina's dancing master, came to see him.

****

Federico took a deep breath. "I wish to make sure that Prime Minister Stearns, and his wife, are fully cognizant with all of the down-time dances which they would be expected to perform at a ball. Specifically, the inaugural ball. For the next Prime Minister."

"I am not sure that there will be any such dances. There is a war on, you know."

"But the war is no obstacle to dancing. Your Michael Stearns is the 'George Washington' of this United States of Europe, is he not? So I think that he will need to follow in George Washington's footsteps." He held up a biography he had borrowed from one of his fellow teachers at the high school. "It says right here that in 1779, while the Revolutionary War was still in progress, Washington and General Greene's wife Catharine danced 'upwards of three hours without once sitting down.'"

"I wonder what General Greene thought of that."

"I am sure that he accepted it as a courtesy to his wife, as a gentleman would. In any event, your George Washington was later honored with the first Inauguration Ball. It was held a week after the actual Inauguration, at the New York City Assembly Rooms. He danced two cotillions and a minuet."

Mac scratched his chin. "We don't know yet whether Mike's party will win the election. Election day is February 22, and a lot can happen 'tween now and then. If the Fourth of July Party loses the national election, then it can't pick the Prime Minister.

"And if Mike's not the Prime Minister, I don't think he would be invited to the new PM's inaugural ball. Back in America, the outgoing President and the First Lady went to the inauguration ceremony, and then left town. They let the incoming President dance the night away with his supporters."

Federico wasn't impressed. "That may have been so in the late twentieth century. But Thomas Jefferson came to James Madison's inaugural ball in 1809. Marcus Wendell, the high school band director, told me."

Mac's eyes strayed to the wall clock, and then back to Federico. "Marcus knew about the Madison inaugural?"

"It was the debut of the Marine Band as 'The President's Own,' I am told." Federico snorted. "Even if there is a change of government, I am sure that Herr Wettin would invite all of the newly elected members of the USE Parliament. Not just the Crown Loyalists. And there isn't much doubt that Mike will be in the legislature. And if he wasn't, his wife would be; she's running unopposed.

"Mike would be—what is that quaint American expression—a 'sore loser' if he failed to come."

Mac fidgeted a bit, then said, "Well, I'll pass your proposal on. But I can't make any promises."

"Of course not."

****

Federico decided to call upon Senator Rebecca Abrabanel. As a fellow down-timer, she would no doubt have a greater appreciation of the role of court dances in society. She might even know the dances already. Why, the Jew Guglielmo Ebreo of Pesaro had written one of the great dance treatises back in 1463.

****

But I have two left feet!" Mike complained.

Rebecca raised her eyebrows. "Really? A professional boxer? I thought it was about the feet and not just the hands."

Mike put one hand on his hip, and the other forward, as if holding a cane. He stooped over, and hobbled about the room. "Eight pro fights," he moaned. "They take a lot out of a guy. Leave him a cripple, unable to dip, bob and weave. Let alone dance."

Rebecca tried to look indignant, but cracked up instead. When she regained her composure, she declared, "Two left ...